Changes

When will things change? I am SO tired of being sad all the time. Maybe the doctor I am seeing Friday will have some answers. Hopefully I'll be able to make it to Weight Watchers tomorrow night as I really do want to join.

Count Down

Tomorrow is the day. Back to court. Divorce to be final. Sad and excited about my future at the same time.

Change is Coming!

Well, we came to an agreement in court Thursday. The plan is for us to return on day this week and for things to be finalized. Not sure how I feel. I am excited to be starting a new chapter in my life but sad at the same time.

Poor Angel has been one sick chickie all week. If MUSC had diagnosed her corrected last Monday instead of just guessing that she had the flu, we would have known 6 days sooner that she has mono. At least she can take meds for symptoms (steriods, nausea med) and she is already feeling better. Thank the Lord for answering our prayer that she didn't have appendicits, too.

I so enjoyed the visit from Nancy, Monica and Landon. How I wish we all lived in the same town. It was great to visit Crowfield Baptist Church's for their Good Friday service. Hopefully I can make it to a regular Sunday serrvice soon.

Back to a regular work schedule tomorrow. Will be praying that my anxiety stays at bay and that things go smoothly.

Hard Day

Home from work. Feeling rather depressed. Don't know why today is different from yesterday.

New Day, New Week!

Work went well today. Working 5 hours a day for the next 2 weeks seems to be a good idea. But I am bored at home and don't need to spend money so options of things to do are limited.

Didn't make it to church Sunday. I had a massive sinus headache from the weather change. As soon as the storm passed, the headache went away thank goodness.

Looking forward to Kristen's Bridge Run party next Saturday. Should be fun. How I appreciate dad for babysitting Heidi so I can spend the night with Kris. She loves going to her "granddaddy's house" and the walks he takes her on. She is one spoiled dog.

Waiting to hear if John accepted my counter offer or if he has a new counter. Waiting is not my strong suit.

Here's to a good, productive and fun week!

Another 3:00 a.m. post!

Slept some better tonight but still up at 3:00! Had a fun time at dinner with Sonja, John and the kids. How I wish we lived in the same town so that we could see each other more often. Being with them tonight sure did lift my mood.

Plans for Saturday fell through so I am trying to think of something to do during the day. I don't need to be home all day as it will make going out the next day harder. Maybe I'll go to the office for a short time.

Back to bed to try and sleep!! And listen to Coast to Coast a.m.! I don't know why I have always been fasinated by that show but I love it (even though I don't believe in aliens or half the stuff they discuss). lol. It's an entertaining companion and often helps me get to sleep.  

Early Morning Thoughts

Well, it's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Again. Lots on my mind. I'm off today so that's good. And starting Monday, for the next two weeks I will be working just five hours each day. Desiree and I had a good talk and this seems like the best option for me right now as I still adjust to meds and deal with anxiety. I cannot imagine what I would do without such a supportive supervisor and team.

So my plans for this 3 day weekend are: go to Walmart and the library Friday, out to eat lunch with Mary Fletcher and spend the evening with Angel on Saturday (and hopefully get her taxes done!) and maybe church on Sunday to try out Crowfield Baptist.

Good news is that the apartment complex approved my application. The down side is I have to pay last months rent up front as John has ruined my credit. But it's worth it to live there. I cannot wait to move!

Waiting to here back from my counter offer. Hopefully it won't take too long.

I thought writing this blog right now would help me feel better but it has made me feel more depressed. Being up at 3:00 is not a good thing for me. I'm heading back to bed to try and sleep.

Tough day!

What a tough day. I had to leave work after 2 hours due to anxiety/depression. It's so frustrating. Guess I should have gone back 1/2 days like Dr. Silver suggested instead of 3 whole days this week. I'll try to work all day tomorrow then 5 hours Friday to make up for the time missed today.

After I got home I had an email from the attorney about my counter proposal. I reviewed it and they are sending it over to John's attorney today. Forward progress!! Now to wait until we hear back. The hardest part.

Trying to decide about weekend plans. Go to MP and stay overnight with dad Saturday or stay home as Angel will be home at 5:00 Saturday. If I can make some kind of plans for Friday night or lunch Saturday with a friend, I'll stay in Goose Creek this weekend and hopefully try Crowfield Baptist Sunday morning. I have to plan things ahead or I will veg all weekend and things get worse when I do that. Plus I am feeling better in general and sitting around is BORING! 

So much worry about various things that I know I need to hand over to the Lord. But boy is that difficult. It certainly adds to my insomnia.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

New Beginnings

It's been a year since my separation from my ex, the divorce will be final soon (hopefully) and I am now ready for my new beginning! My depression and anxiety are under control and hopefully will one day be gone all together. I've found a new place to live that I am very excited about. Also, there is a church here in Goose Creek (Crowfield Baptist Church ) that I hope to visit soon.

This has been a very tough year. Tougher than I could ever have imagined. I never would have made it through this past year without my family and friends. I have not sought the Lord like I should have been but that is changing, too. He is ultimately who got me through this and He will see me through to the end and beyond.

I am so happy to be starting the new phase of my life. I'll be working with my doctor to get my diabetes under control and keep my depression/anxiety at bay and I'll be continuing to work with my counselor on improving me, to include weight loss. I hope to broaden my social life by meeting new people at the apartment complex, being involved in church and getting to know more people at work.

I really feel like everything is coming together. 2012 will be the year of the NEW AND IMPROVED TRACEY!